Remembering your kicks

I want to write this now, because it is painful for me to think about.  Your kicks.  You were so active, the dr’s commented on it a number of times.  And I thought about how you would be a jumper like your big brother.  During your ultrasounds, you would move around, and it was hard to get good pictures.  The very last ultrasound, they couldn’t actually get any pictures because of the movement.  You especially liked to kick while I was putting your brother to bed, and he would put his hand on my stomach and feel you moving inside. If you were here, these would be the stories that I would lovingly tell you.  I want to get to a point where such stories don’t bring me pain, but it is hard to imagine.  I loved having you inside and I didn’t appreciate you enough.  I am still in denial though so I wanted to get this out before it became too unbearable to even remember.

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