Shock and denial after stillbirth

Less than a week ago, I went to the hospital thinking I was going to deliver my little Sidney.  Instead, the doctors could not find a heartbeat and told me he had “passed.”  I am in shock and denial, and intense pain.  I don’t know what to do with myself and am hoping that blogging or writing will help me, or at least in time, let me see that I am in fact surviving. I don’t know how to share a blog, so I am not sure that this will be read or beneficial to others.

This poem best captures some of what we experienced:



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